Motherless Day

May 11, 2014

in life

Happy Mother’s Day!  Here’s an old pic of me, my Mom, and my beautiful niece Mella.

IMG_0726

This holiday has been emotional for me the last 5 years or so…because for most of my life, I believed I’d be the one being celebrated someday.  I never write about it here (though I did blog about it anonymously), but I’ve mentioned my infertility issues in a few podcasts and my bodyheart interview.

For anyone else who has struggled with this strange identity crisis/grief – I found Mara Kofoed’s guest post on A Cup of Jo to be helpful:

Moving on is one of the most complicated things I’ve ever faced. But every ounce of myself is done with pursuing, pursuing, pursuing. It’s like someone has died and instead of dedicating a life to changing what is, we are going to move on and try our very, very best to live the best life that we can. And we’re trying to cultivate as much excitement and hope that we can for a life that looks nothing like we had planned.

She also eloquently explains our decision not to adopt, do IVF, foster care, etc.

I’ve always thought of myself as extremely “maternal” and it’s not a side I want to cut off just because I no longer want children.  But some days (like today) it’s harder than others to just accept this.  And as someone who lost a parent not too long ago, I’m sure it’s not easy for those who no longer have moms.

So for my fellow Motherless Mothers Day peeps – I feel your pain.  But really, Moms SHOULD be celebrated.   I’m going to cheer them on for one day, through that discomfort, because that’s pretty much what they do all the time.

{ 18 comments }

1 Gail Flackett May 11, 2014 at 8:03 am

I was deeply moved by your post, and I love the photo of the three of you. You are the best. Gail

2 Lynn @ The Actor's Diet May 11, 2014 at 8:10 am

Thank you Gail. Happy Mother’s Day to you!

3 Shell Lewis May 11, 2014 at 9:06 am

So beautifully said….and a lovely photo and tribute to motherhood of all forms. Always enjoy your posts!

4 Jen Gregory May 11, 2014 at 3:50 pm

Love. Thank you for sharing, as always.

5 Ameena May 11, 2014 at 5:51 pm

You are such a sweet person through and through. This post brought tears to my eyes my friend.

6 Vegyogini May 11, 2014 at 7:26 pm

Love you, Lynn. <3

7 Courtney of Savor Good May 11, 2014 at 7:32 pm

You’re amazing, Lynn! Thank you for sharing your heart with us.

8 Tamara May 12, 2014 at 6:23 am

<3 Lynn <3

You never cease to amaze me with your open heart and generosity of spirit. Thank you!

9 Lauren at Keep It Sweet May 12, 2014 at 2:19 pm

I am sure that it is hard to be reminded of something difficult that you have gone through / continue to go through. I wish we lived closer and you could be in my baby’s everyday life!

10 Lynn @ The Actor's Diet May 12, 2014 at 2:26 pm

Me too! But the good news is my mom is moving permanently to a place near you!

11 CG May 12, 2014 at 5:30 pm

Would you ever consider adoption? We did just and can’t imagine our family forming any other way. She brings us infinite joy and light.

12 Lauren May 14, 2014 at 10:08 am

I was going to say the same thing! It’s something I’m considering myself, even though I don’t know of any infertility issues I might have. With all of the children who need homes, and there are plenty both here in the US and internationally, it seems like something to at least consider when you start family planning.

13 Lynn @ The Actor's Diet May 14, 2014 at 3:18 pm

Congratulations! It’s something we’ve considered, of course, but will most likely not explore further.

14 Chelsea May 12, 2014 at 9:23 pm

The sermon at the center for spiritual living-Boise yesterday was about how everyone is a mother, whether you have kids or not. We all, men included, have a mothering instinct. If you care for someone or something deeply, then, you are a mother. It was very powerful and moving. I have the sermon on cd if you’d like me to send it to you. BIG HUGS.

15 Lynn @ The Actor's Diet May 12, 2014 at 10:56 pm

That’s beautiful. Thank you Chelsea!

16 Floey May 13, 2014 at 3:31 am

You are like a blog mommy to us all!

17 Lynn @ The Actor's Diet May 13, 2014 at 6:33 am

❤️❤️❤️

18 Wendy May 19, 2014 at 2:06 am

From my heart to yours……sending so much love! I know you will be a mommy someday! I’ve been there myself Lynn!

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