For those struggling with infertility, what it’s like celebrating Mother’s Day when you know you will never be one.
Happy Mother’s Day! Here’s an old pic of me, my Mom, and my beautiful niece Mella. This holiday is emotional for me the last 5 years or so. Because I have to accept that it really is a Motherless Day for myself. Picture this. For most of my life, I believe I will be the one being celebrated someday. And I know for sure now that will never happen.
This is for anyone else who is struggling with this strange identity crisis/grief of infertility and Mother’s Day. I find Mara Kofoed’s guest post on A Cup of Jo to be helpful.
Moving on is one of the most complicated things I’ve ever faced. But every ounce of myself is done with pursuing, pursuing, pursuing. It’s like someone has died and instead of dedicating a life to changing what is, we are going to move on and try our very, very best to live the best life that we can. And we’re trying to cultivate as much excitement and hope that we can for a life that looks nothing like we had planned.
She also eloquently explains our decision not to adopt.
I’m always thinking of myself as extremely “maternal.” And it’s not a side I want to be cutting off just because I no longer want children. But some days (like today) it’s harder than others to just accept this. And as someone losing a parent not too long ago, I’m sure it’s not easy for those who no longer have moms.
So for my fellow Motherless Mothers Day peeps – I feel your pain. But really, Moms SHOULD be celebrating. I’m going to cheer them on for one day. Through that discomfort, because that’s pretty much what they do all the time.