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Expect the Unexpected

daddy - salads - take out - vegan

Last night I dreamt my father was still in the hospital. Despite the doctor’s protests, he got out of bed, started brushing his teeth, took a shower, shaved his face. I woke up thinking he was still alive, getting better, feeling hopeful. Like I did on this day.

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One of the most difficult things this last month has been being apart from Abe. With his brand new job, I’ve had to deal with almost everything alone. One of my favorite places in Los Angeles, M Cafe, offered for me to pick up an order so I could bring it to his office and we could spend some time together.

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Just as I got the generous to-go order they arranged, I received a text from Abe saying he had a last-minute meeting, right when we were supposed to have lunch.

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I’m ashamed to say, I did not take the news well. Sorry for getting snippy, honey.

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Wound up eating by myself, in the car. Despite my frustration, I was still able to listen to my stomach and stop when I was full.

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A few bites of each of the summer salads – Greek with Tofu “Feta,” Curried Cauliflower, and Green Beans Gomae

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…the four pieces of sushi that had fish in them…

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…and half of the best Kale in the world.

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Eating these foods made me feel instantly better, and I decided to leave the entrees for Abe to enjoy the next few days, while he’s working late. His favorite, the Big Macro

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…and the Macro Meal – brown rice, tofu, steamed veggies, hijiki seaweed, house made pickles, and carrot ginger dressing.

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Then I drove it to his office…

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…and put it in the fridge.

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Across the street was a post office – I actually had a few packages to mail…

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…and by the time I got through that long line, Abe was done with his meeting too!

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I could only see him a few minutes, but I did get to check out the Huffington Post Live studio…

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…and later on, Abe texted me this photo to show me I was appreciated, and that he was well-fed.

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My father was such a dependable dude. He was the guy who chauffeured me around to all my auditions in NYC, let me sleep in traffic, waited with my shopping bags at the mall by the mannequins. Now it seems clear – nothing in life is certain, not even my father. I wonder who he relied on? I’m learning that answer for myself, now.

Even though I can’t be with him, or Abe, in the flesh, I think both of them feel better knowing I can look after myself, and still find gratitude during these deep pockets of sadness. Thank you, M Cafe, for taking care of us through good times and bad.

  • jan schifter

    You are doing great Lynn! I am happy to say that I have talked my BF in to eating right and we are going vegie, thanks to all you do!!!!!!! BTW, I slipped in the kitchen, broke my ankle, had surgery on it and then my beloved JJ the cocker spaniel passed away right here under the dining room table. As I sit here, unemployed, devastated and sad, I still want to call my Mom or Dad. Both are gone and it is always a huge adjustment – but I survived! You rock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • http://www.theactorsdiet.com Lynn @ The Actor’s Diet

      thank you jan. thank you thank you thank you.

  • http://vanillakitchen.blogspot.com vanillasugarblog

    lynn you are doing very well my dear.
    write that down on a piece of paper and carry it with you, folded up in your wallet.
    pull it out every time you need it and remember that you are in fact “doing really well”
    seriously.

    xoxo
    dawn

  • http://www.cksmetalart.blogspot.com Cindy

    Grief is quite the dance isn’t it? You really are doing quite well. Still so very amazed at how open you are about your experience. I would be holed up in a dark room not really talking to anyone…for months. So you are pretty awesome in my book. A big shout out to Abe for being such a great all round wonderful hubbie.

  • http://www.hippierunner.wordpress.com hippierunner

    Lynn, thanks for sharing these thoughts. Your hope, perseverance and honesty are all really refreshing and inspiring.

  • http://www.thevegtress.wordpress.com Emily

    You’re doing amazing, Lynn. I don’t blame you at all for being a little testy- I’m sure everything is 100X more frustrating than it normally would be. But, thank goodness for M Cafe, right? I’ve seriously been craving it for weeks now. They’re kale salad and teryaki bowl are two of my favorite meals ever.
    And I’m glad you were able to see Abe, even if it was just for a few minutes. The Huffpost Live studio looks awesome!

  • http://unknownbuddhist.com unknown buddhist

    Lynn:

    Greetings from a place where I am in the direct line of path of Hurrcane Isaac. Starting tomorrow I may be out of commision here (i.e., via no power).

    Still Lynn, I believe you are doing terrific. Stay well and eat for me. I am sure in about 24 hours, I will be dreaming of the Kotohira Restaurant (Western Avenue) which is one of the few restaurants in the United States that makes traditional, handmade udon, Kotohira is the ultimate destination for those thick, slippery white ropes.

    Ah, dreaming of them already … but first Isaac. :)

    Stay well Lynn.

  • http://unknownbuddhist.com unknown buddhist

    Come to think of it, I also forgot about Eastgate Plaza and Santouka Ramen, near Torrance. Oh God … yummy. Anyway, have oodles of noodles for me.

    :)

  • http://www.glidingcalm.wordpress.com glidingcalm

    sending you hugs! M Cafe looks like a great place to eat as well.

    lots of love to you, Lynn!

    • http://www.theactorsdiet.com Lynn @ The Actor’s Diet

      Thanks dear! It’s one of my faves…

  • http://twitter.com/edddin Eddin Peh

    Lynn, you’re great! Thank you so much for posting such wonderful posts for us readers to read. It has become a routine that I’ll drop by actors diet every night to read up your new posts. Just felt great and inspired after reading! Thank you Lynn, for everything you did! God bless you and your family! Continue to rock on!!!!

  • http://www.hungryhungryhippie.com elise

    awww…thats so nice of m cafe.

    ps your text convo was hilarious to me.

    pps i know i owe you an email ive been swamped, but we will pick a date soon.

    ppps hugs!!

  • http://www.battleofthebites.com Gillian

    The kitchen response reminds me of exactly how I respond in those moments! Glad you were able to sneak in a moment. Cafe M looks so good! Love your genuine stories about your father as well. Life is so precious,

  • http://www.litandlobster.com Lynn

    Lynn: your strength and emotional awareness is amazing. The best thing you can do is what you are doing, being honest with yourself, checking in with yourself and finding ways to make sense of it all…through blogging, at least in part. Thinking of you and your family.

  • http://www.acaseoftheruns.com Julie (A Case of the Runs)

    M cafe is a great place… only been there once, but it was enjoyable. Sorry that the lunch plans got hectic. I’ve had that happen to me before (on Abe’s end getting pulled into a meeting), and it’s so frustrating for all.

  • http://www.caitplusate.com Caitlin

    I’m so sorry for your loss Lynn, and am keeping you and your family in my thoughts and sending positive vibes your way. I’m proud of you for stopping when you were full with all that food with you, and instead making yourself feel better by doing something kind for Abe and getting him his favorite eats. And I’m glad you enjoyed the eats too, and that you got to see the Huff Post studio, how cool! Healing from this will take a lot of emotional work but it looks like you are doing well and it sounds like you have a great support system in place. <3