When I wrote the “This is My Life” post about 3 weeks ago, I had no idea how drastically my life was about to change. I had literally been talking to friends a few nights before about how stagnant everything felt…now it is ALL different.
I feel like I’ve been preparing the last few years for everything that’s happened. I’ve allowed myself to hope, despair, completely lose it, grieve, laugh and truly experience life, moment to moment. But the hurdles keep coming – I was SERIOUSLY sick all last night, with food poisoning-like symptoms. I haven’t been ill like that since my 2010 birthday in New Orleans. My sister-in-law Kate is a nurse, and she advised Immodium and Crackers before our long flight home.
Aunt Josephine brought a whole bunch over – they’re from Taiwan. I’ve eaten about 10 total so far.
Shared a few packets with the little munchkins before we said good bye to them…
…each other…
…and my father.
En route to the airport, I gave more saltines to the geese at the pond I grew up feeding Wonder Bread heels to…
…we passed by the house I spent most of my childhood in, marveling at how large the trees my father planted are…
…past our old Astoria hood…
…and where I spent the first 3 years of my life…
(these towers are one of my first memories)
…and finally, at JFK, one of the locations where we shot my very first film, “Saving Face” – the subject of my father’s eulogy.
A month ago, I would’ve lost it, knowing I had to board an 8-hour flight feeling sick. But after everything I’ve been through, I feel like it’s just another lesson my dad’s teaching me. I’ve been hearing them, loud and clear, the last couple weeks – and especially so last night. I know it sounds creepy but I heard him talking to me (and weirdly, I was the ONLY one in the house who got sick, so it wasn’t what I ate).
So I pass just a few of the things I’ve learned along to you – allow yourself to feel, be loved, and treat everyone with compassion. Don’t worry so much about what’s going to happen, because it’s all out of our control. Be honest, but also listen. And have faith. Feel. Even pain has its place. But don’t forget to live joyfully, and without regrets, because you really don’t know when it will all end.
{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }
so beautiful and profound…thanks for the reminder of what life is really all about…I have never met you but this blog has helped me through so much and especially this post. I am forever grateful for your words, encouragement, strength and hope. many blessings, Jenna
I’m so sorry for your loss, Lynn. I’m going through a similar time of loss and despair, and feeling similar feelings. I also felt like it came right after a “stagnant” period. I think I’ll appreciate the dull moments a lot more in my future.
My thoughts, prayers and love are with you and yours.
VERY INSPIRING.. thank you for sharing these lessons..you just reminded me and taught me on how to live life to the fullest..looking forward for your next post.. my thoughts and prayers are with you always. Just be strong and continue inspiring people.
Whenever something happens in my life that is devastating, something equally mind blowing happens soon after. When I lost my music industry job of 14 years, I found myself drawn to your blog. I am so glad I did that! You are an inspiration Lynn. Even though I don’t know you, I can certainly see that your parents brought you up so beautifully. May god bless you,Abe and Julius.
Dearest Lynn,
thank you so much for these pictures and beautiful words. I wrote them in my journal . they are so inspiring from a broken heart………….and ones I did not want to forget. Your farewell to your wonderful Father was beautiful and we will look after your Mom always. Someday will be Va pensiero…………xoxoxo
Much love to you always,
Juli
I love that last paragraph. great wisdom.
Feel better Lynn. I have only commented a couple times on your blog but I’m a faithful reader. I am amazed at the strength you have shown throughout your father’s illness and passing. The photo of you looking back at your father’s urn is just so poignant. I hope being back home with your husband and puppy helps you feel better and brings you comfort.
Another beautiful post, Lynn. Sometimes we need to be reminded of what is really important. To treat each other with kindness. And to live life fully.
so real and so true. i miss my daddy and i know you miss yours too. It’s been almost 4 months for me.. and i still don’t believe it has happened.
So sorry for your loss too, Molly. I’ve been told the pain won’t go away, but it will change and evolve.
That last paragraph…
couldn’t have come at a better time.
Thank you for sharing it, and all your honesty in the last few weeks.
It might not mean much right now, but you are an inspiration.
In Turmoil you have shown Grace. In Sadness you have shown Strength.
So beautiful, so inspiring, and exactly what I needed to hear. Your last paragraph literally gave me chills. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I admire the way you’ve handled all of this. You truly epitomize grace and strength- and I know everyone who knows you would agree.
I hope you make it home safely. Please let me know if you need anything once you’re back. <3
Thank you again for sharing, Lynn. Your closing words for the day bear repeating, and you’ve done so in such a resonating way, not least because you show how you try to follow them.
Will definitely be remembering that advice.
I hope you are feeling much better today. You will be missed on the east coast:-)
I have relived the weeks in the hospital and passing of my dad as I read your messages each day, Lynn. It has been 10 years, but that raw emotion of loss is still very present. But, it always is washed with gratitude and love, especially for everything he taught me – and that is what ends up preparing us for life without them physically here. I am so thankful for that – and I know you will find your dad’s voice and influence in your life always, as I do mine. Blessings.
Thinking of you and today’s beautiful post will remind me to take a few extra moments to count my blessings. Thank you…
I only began reading your blog a few weeks ago while I was trying to find a positive resource to help me with my issues with self-image and I am amazed by the profound experience this has become. I have found myself confronting the gamut of emotions while reading your posts and would like to thank you for sharing so much with strangers such as myself. This post and images of the Duck Pond brought back really great memories for me and has inspired me to get back in touch with my parents with whom I’ve been estranged from for some time. Be well; I wish you the absolute very best.
There is a cost to stress….and your poor body just couldn’t manage sweet pea….
Regardless – you look beautful – j’love the hair – and your little pumpkin there is beautiful like you too!
Thank you for allowing us to share Lynn – the picutes, the memories, the hope, the sorrow – thank you….
I loved your last paragraph…and – as some have said above – this could not have come at a better time…for you – and for us.
We love you Lynn –
Natasha
Oh gosh, this was so beautiful… I’m in tears right before work – what a beautiful lesson thank you for the gentle reminder and I hope you are home safe and sound and feeling ok.
xo
I love it. Thank you so much for the last paragraph–and for your blog in general (always a pleasure to read/lurk). I needed to read that and to be reminded to breathe and enjoy the small things. Take care of yourself.
Questi momenti sconvolgono la vita , tutto cambia, niente più è come prima , manca una parte di Te, e tutto resta uguale , la vita continua, il sole sorge , cade la pioggia,
il giorno insegue la notte , arrivano le bollette the pagare, come se nulla fosse accaduto, come è facile capirti , Io ho perso mio figlio di anni 29 Dr. Neurochirurgo
con un melanoma, non c'è stato nulla the fare, ed ora sono qui dirti fatti coraggio, domani e un nuovo giorno Ciao.
rosa, vorrei dirti tante cose, ma non ne sono capace. quando è nato mio nipote ha passato parecchi giorni in rianimazione e l'ha vista brutta . io non lo dimentico mai , fra le macchine, martoriato dagli aghi ma ringrazio il signore che c'è bello e vivace. tu hai tanto coraggio e io ti auguro di averne ancora, sopratutto se hai fede
I’m so sorry for your loss, sending good thoughts your way!
When I was a kid and I would get sick, I would dream my grandpa would come to visit. He took care of me whenever I was sick as a kid before he died. I don’t think it’s strange your dad talked to you. Embrace those moments. He’s here with you still (:
How GORGEOUS are your niece and nephews??? Such beauty!!!