I really wanted to wear something of my father’s to last night’s Mass…
…but the shirt was a little too big. I went with his watch instead.
Raining as we pulled up to church…
…flooded as we came out.
I didn’t mean to have my cousin Hannah wade through the giant puddle by herself. I was just in shock from having seen my Cresskill High School play director – one of the main reasons I decided to professionally pursue acting – as the church Deacon. When he hugged me, I literally felt my father telling me to persevere. There was a little too much symbolism in it all for me to digest in the moment…
…but then the hunger hit! My mother fried up some rice n eggs…
…and we feasted on leftovers.
Along with the rice, I ate some pork bun, smoked chicken, and leftover salad…
…seconds on the latter, plus some pineapple…
…and then MORE seconds on the pineapple, and grapes!
Hannah brought some pastries from Sun Merry which we dug into…
…along with cheesecake…
Apple, chocolate and taro. Yummy.
Then we drove down memory lane, literally. Can NOT figure out what this was in the back of our old high school gym???
It’s so bittersweet to be able to reconnect with Hannah recently, who was literally one of my best friends growing up (we were one month apart in age). Somehow we drifted apart as adults, but my father’s death has brought us back together. Mourning my dad has been – and I’m sure will continue to be – such a mysterious journey. I was thoroughly depressed most of Wednesday but last night, I was filled with a deep sense of awe, connection, inspiration, and gratitude for everything my father did, and is continuing to do, even when he’s not around anymore.
P.S. A very special thanks to the folks over at V3 Digital Media Conference – who honored my father with this post. I was originally scheduled to speak at this conference (check out last year’s recap when it was called “Banana”) but given the circumstances I will take that weekend off to be with family.
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
My dear Lynn, I am glad it was a meaningful evening for you and your family. I know there is nothing any of us can say to make it hurt less, but please know that you have a stranger in Chicago sending you love and light, hope and peace.
What a sweet idea to wear something of your father’s to mass. I bet he was smiling!
Hey there,
I just saw Saving Face – and was pretty touched by your performance – so I wanted to find out more about you. I’m so sorry to hear you just lost your father. In the last 6 months, I’ve lost 3 friends unexpectedly, but I cannot imagine how I would feel if I lost my dad. He means the world to me – and pleasing him and making him proud are the reasons why I’ve held back on some of my dreams, and on being who I want to be, mostly because I’m scared that these things are not what he would wish of me. The immigrant ethos is strong. Nonetheless, I just wanted to drop a note to thank you for your work, for your candid blog, and to share that seeing the work you do helps inspire me to pursue my dreams. Your dad must be so proud of you.
Take care,
Quyen
Thinking of you, Lynn, and wishing you all the best <3
Lynn, I am continuing to hold you and your family in my thoughts, wishing you peace. Lori
Hi sweet friend. I am so sorry. I know how you are feeling…to a degree…and all I can say is that this will be a journey that will take you places you don’t expect. Please know that I’m thinking and praying of you. And let me know if I can do anything. I’m here.
Thank you my dear friend. I know you understand and your own journey has inspired and helped me these last few days.
Lynne,
I had been down south for the last week. I hadn’t read the news about your father until just now. You are in my thoughts and have my deepest condolences. I do not know how long you will remain in NJ, but when you feel up to it, I’m here to go shopping and take your mind of things! Keep on keeping on, you’re an incredible woman.
Thanks Bianca. I will be back in October so let’s connect then.
Thursday XX’s for you.
I also wore my fathers watch at his funeral. He will always be with you. Take care of yourself and your family.
Lynn
I’m keeping praying for you
so sorry to hear of the loss of your Dad. You will feel him watching over you and even talk to him as if he was still here. My Dad passed in 2001 but I still miss him and feel his caring still and I do talk to him. I also treasure his watch.