Planning a funeral is crazy. I had no idea. You know how all the logistics for weddings take months? This is crammed into one or two days, plus you’re highly emotional and unable to think straight.
Fueled up with muffins and fruit…
…went to a whole bunch of homes to compare services/prices…
…grabbed a quick lunch in between…
…and had to get a black outfit.
Surreal. I apologize publicly to the H&M cashier for breaking down about the deodorant stains on the dress.
We’ve been so grateful for support and condolences…the outpouring following my post about my father’s recent passing has been tremendous. I haven’t had the time to read most of them, but thank you in advance.
We dug into all the leftovers around 9pm…
…I went straight for the cheesecake…
…plus some fruit flowers.
Tomorrow is another intense day of planning/logistics. Please, if you are going to be seeing me soon and are reading this – I respectfully ask that you not tell me I’m too skinny and/or need to eat. I know this is just concern, and usually I can handle these comments, but I’m at a particular vulnerable time right now. I haven’t had a proper 24 hours to mourn my father, let alone a night of more than 4 hours of sleep, or a day in the last 2 weeks that I haven’t been stressed to the maximum, plus my eating disorders therapist is currently recovering from her own surgery and Abe is across the country, so I’m unable to have my usual support team in place for that.
Thank you for your compassion and understanding.
{ 32 comments… read them below or add one }
So sorry for the loss! Today was my mother’s first birthday since her passing. Hang tough – I’m sure you will.
I can’t even imagine how overwhelming this all must be. I admire you for staying so strong. You truly are an inspiration.
And I don’t blame you for not wanting to hear any comments about your appearance, eating habits, etc. Emotional times wreak havoc on my appetite and self-control so I always wind up eating less than I should. I think most people are that way. With time, things will all settle back out.
If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask. <3
Lynn……my sincerest condolences to you and your loved ones. I have been thinking of you daily as I’ve read the long and harrowing journey you’ve been going through. Thank you for sharing your heartache with us all. Much love to you. Big hugs from Northern CA. May your father rest peacefully.
Lynn, I am a religious reader but rarely comment, though I have commented and e-mailed you before. I want to send my love to you and your family – you are in my thoughts and prayers. After reading your blog for about two years now, I know how much you adore your father. Having struggled with disordered eating (and still struggling), I want you to know what an amazing inspiration you are to me. Thank you for being so open and honest with your readers. Hang in there, Lynn, and know that your readers are thinking of you and your family in this difficult time.
xo Jamie
support you forever! be strong!
Just hearing this now and so sorry for your loss! Lots of love to you!
I am so sorry.
Just know that you are amazing!
Love.
The beauty of your father lives on in you. Peace and love.
Oh Lynn, please know I am here for you! I seriously can not believe others would be so cruel as to make absurd comments right now or ever! People are hateful and really have no souls. I love you and I am always thinking and praying for you! xoxo
I know how hard planning a funeral is…it is the most surreal experience I have ever had. I am sorry people feel compelled to comment on your weight. You should not have to deal with that, too. xoxox
I just found your blog this morning and although I don’t know you, I wanted to tell you how much love I can see in your family. It’s beautiful. I pray that you are comforted during this horrific time. Remember that it’s okay to be sad, mad, scared, confused, etc. also remember that the only thing you can control, in this time when everything seems so out of control is your actions… And it looks like you are taking care of yourself. I’m sure your dads smiling down with pride!
More love for you and yours today. All you can do right now is face the moment that is in front of you and breathe. Thinking of you. XX
Dear Lynn,
Food will be the source of the energy and nourishment you need to make your mind work properly to make decisions during this stressful time. Think about that with everything you eat.
Although this is the worst time of your life right now, You WILL get through this. Everyone is supporting you and love you and your family. XXOO
My dearest Lynn,
I write this to you with tears in my eyes…and an ache in my heart…today has left me deep in thought already – reading about your dear Father, and hearing from an old friend in LA. Life is incredibly difficult at moments…
I’m filled with many emotions for you and your Mum this morning…there are no words to express my deep sadness for you at this time. Cindy – loved what you said about breathing…at times it is all you can do – anything else will bring you to your knee’s…yes? So my lovely Lynn – my Miss Moxie – I’m with you. I will pray for you, and I will mourn with you…
With much love and deep respect,
Natasha
Hang in there. I know it’s got to be hard. Sending you good vibes.
Lynn, I’m just now catching up on my blogroll and was shocked to read the news of your father’s passing. Even though I only know you through following your blog, I’m sincerely saddened by and sorry for your loss. I hope all the logistical arrangements work out smoothly and you are able to finally mourn in peace, in your own time. Stay strong and do whatever you know is best for you, and know that you have the support of your reader community behind you and your family
And, thank you for continuing to blog and for your honesty in your writing these past few weeks. Even in this terrible moment your writing IS paying it forward.
The moment with the deer and Pathetique was beautiful.
My best wishes.
Lynn,
I had to plan the funeral for both my parents and it is extremely emotional, overwhelming & taxing. Until you’ve been there, you can’t even imagine how hard it is. Thoughts & prayers with you & yours … Hugs
Hi Lynn. I read your blog everyday and I just wanted to say that I am praying for you and your family. I know that this is such an emotional time for you right now and the last thing you want to worry about is what people are going to say about your weight. Stay strong, know you are beautiful, and treasure the time you have with your family right now. I believe in you
Lynn:
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. And I am so sorry for not reaching out to you sooner. I have been flying around the country for the last few days and did not catch up with your blog.
I wish there were some magic words that would take away all the pain. But I find none. May death be just only another door. And moving forward, I hope the bridge of love, between father and daughter, is powerful. That both of you can meet and find each other flourishing in the warmth of love. May both of you find this bridge peaceful and nurturing.
You and your family are so very much in my prayers.
With Love,
The Unknown Buddhist
Thinking of you, Lynn. I know we don't know each other but I hope I can still offer you strength and compassion. Sharing your story during this hard time is beyond generous. Thank you.
my deepest condolences to you and your family. life doesn’t really allow time for grieving and mourning in the first week of the passing. and then, all sorts of stuff to take care of too – the will, the inheritance and the things he used to own.
i am sorry for your loss. hang in there. it’s not easy, but i hope u’ll find comfort in knowing that he was your father, the best father he could possibly be, that you are half of him, that he lives in you, and most of all, that he loved you very much.
Hi, Lynn. I am fully understand how you feel as I have loss my dad since I was 5 year old. I believe you can handle it well, stay strong n I have confidence on you. From : Penny Chan in Malaysia.
You have been in my thoughts since I learned of your Dad’s death. He was a special person, and I am so pleased that I saw him so recently. You are an amazing young woman, giving so much love to him, My deepest sympathies to you during this terrible time.
Hi Lynn, I commented on your last post, but I wanted to just say hang in there and hope that people aren’t being too critical of your choices right now. Of course, along with the other things that need attention right now, taking care of yourself is also among them.
Dear Lynn,
I am so terribly sorry to hear about your father. I hope that when life calms down and you can find the strength to read through the comments, you’ll see just how much we all care about you. My heart is with you.
So deeply saddened to hear about your loss Lynn. The fact that you are still able to blog and share with your readers just goes to show how strong you truly are! Keeping you in my thoughts. Take care! xo
Food and this blog is your outlet to let go of feelings and everything else going on in your life. Hugs to you. Keeping your family and you in my daily thoughts!
I am so sorry Lynn.
you are the best! don’t care about the not-so-nice comments, just do what you think it’s right! you will have more and more fans who love you and support you forever! Wishes from mainland china.
Planning a funeral is by far one of the most surreal and painful processes because you have to think rationally when all you want to do is break down.
Hopefully this process passes quickly and you finally get the time to mourn that you need. Until then take care of yourself as best you can and ignore everyone who doesn’t bring the most positive and nurturing energy possible into your life.