This is a difficult post for me to write, because it’s publicly airing out a couple thoughts that have been safely swimming in my head. Once it’s out there…I’ll actually have to make a decision.
My third year of “The Actor’s Diet” is coming up soon, and I’m contemplating changing the blog format from what I eat every single day to more specialized/less frequent posts. I know it gets boring for you to see my half a melon so much – it’s definitely getting old for me (in fact, it’s what I had for dinner last night and breakfast this morning, so I’ll spare you the pictures).
To be completely honest, it makes me a bit self-conscious too, because it’s acknowledging I still have food issues. My melon, candies, cocoa/miso are all daily reminders of my addictive personality, and that this struggle continues to exist.
That said, I have always felt the main purpose of this blog is to not only help myself figure out my relationship with food, but to show others how I’m doing it, as well. There are plenty of actors out there who write about what they’re eating and cooking, but not one of them who shows it daily. I think this is important to reveal, because things can appear pretty incredible when edited. I’ve always thought it was essential to exhibit the ups and downs of my career, life, AND diet, and to be totally open about the process I go through to stay looking the way I do – because people are always asking, and I know they won’t stop, as long as I’m in the public eye.
I write about this subject today, in particular, because I’ve recently received a number of reader emails saying they’re having difficulties with their body image/eating disorders. I get alot of this feedback, and it’s a large part of why I stick to the daily food journaling I do. So as I make this decision about what direction to move the blog in (or not) I take this particular audience into account very seriously.
I have never claimed to be an expert on this matter, but I do know that this site provides a lot of hope, and a sense of connection for many readers. Even though eating melon and candy and cocoa every day looks “disordered” it’s also a lot better than it once was. It’s also a reminder that recovery is a lifelong battle.
So I’m rambling now, but in summary, I want to say two things:
- If you’re hurting, please get professional help. I’m sorry I cannot personally respond – I’m just not equipped to offer advice – but know I am listening, you are NOT alone, and that there is hope. I am proof of that. You can read through past posts, my NEDA speech, and watch the video I recorded for NOW last year. But please realize that I, like you, am only human. I really don’t have the answers, and like you, I’m still figuring this out.
- For those of you who are long time readers, are the daily posts/mentioning portion sizes still interesting/helpful? If not, what would you like to see more of?
Thanks, as always, for reading and listening.